ActRight

About Fundraiser to send me to a SSA CHRISTIAN THERAPY program.

Hate Being Gay

It Feels Like A Curse I became aware of my sexual orientation at a very young age. I would say that around the age 3-4 I began to realize that I was different. The older I got the more I realized that people like me were hated. It was evident by my family, peers, and church. 

Because of this I started to get depressed at a very young age. I felt like I had to edit myself or conform to the ways of society in a way that left me feeling disconnected from my own self. I tried so hard to fit in but at the same time was afraid to let anyone in because I feared their judgements. I had been emotionally scarred for years and years by people I considered close.. 

Now that I am older I realize that we all have certain test in life to overcome. Some of us have it harder than others but I get a sense that the more difficult the hardship the bigger the lesson. I'm ok with that but it still doesn't make it an easier. I realize that I have been taught how to self-hate and it will take time for me begin to replace that self-hate with feelings of self-worth. 

As an adult I have been open about my sexuality but as much as I understand now that being a gay man is not anything to be ashamed of it still a constant battle. I'm still stigmatized. I still have issues with my family and friends concerning my sexuality. 

I don't think I have a problem with being gay more than I hate everything that comes along with it. It has forced me to live a life that is less than what I deserve. It has caused me to isolate myself and I have become lonely and bitter. I don't understand why this was given to me but it almost feels like a curse. 
 

Help me pay for a same sex attraction and masculinity building therapy program.